Stepping over the fear

Back in September I spoke on stage for the first time.

Well, not the first first time exactly but first official time where I had been asked, I had written something and spent hours preparing myself to get up there on the STAGE and say what I had to say.

I had been asked back in Spring time, referred by a friend on facebook and reached out to via FB messenger! At that moment the event was due to be that Summer. It was to be a 60 second speech about what creativity and what it means to me and my life.  Sounded intriguing!

I felt the wavering immediately, and even though it was ONLY 60 seconds it took me a moment to recover from the initial fearful reaction and the yapping voice of my inner critic.

Yap, Yap, Yap...what have I got to say to these people? I don't do things like this! I'm a small group and 1-1 girl. I'll get so nervous, I will shake and mess up. I will embarrass myself. I don't know where to begin. Yikes!

Thankfully I knew somewhere deeper that did actually want to do it, that I wanted to be courageous and step out of my comfort zone. I knew that I could figure this out. I had plenty of time didn't I?

YES, I'll do it! What is the worst that could happen? What is the best that could happen?

Turns out I had even more time to prepare when the event was postponed until September.

Summer passed and this September night came around. All the while...Read, recite, read, recite, read, recite.

Many inspiring ladies spoke in front of me and I loved hearing their stories.

I was up second last. 

Despite my nerves, and the closer I got to my turn the less I could remember what I wanted to say, I stepped up and I spoke. Here is what I said:

“In childhood I wandered fields pretending to be a lost explorer and spent hours drawing.

I followed that thread, my love of creativity and nature and these moments of joy would become essential.

My art teacher once told me when I was struggling,

’If you know where you want to get to, there is always a way to get there’.

I trusted him and I was able to trust myself. I became more aware of my own abilities and had the courage to grow and step closer to my dreams.

In art school I found a very different space but my values became clearer

I began to search for precious urban nature and looked at environmental issues. These and the landscapes of my journeys north became the inspiration for the pieces I created.

Now, this thread is still leading me where I want to get to and i’m helping others do the same.

I’m creating moments of learning as an educator and encouraging people to trust their intuition and values.

I’m walking with people to a place where they can look around and recognise their own moments of wonder and curiosity and how they might make their own difference in the world.

Thank you.”

I felt everyone listening. I felt connected with the emotions behind my words, almost to the point of tears. I was elated afterwards.

Now, I'm open to the possibility of doing it again (keeping it short though!), I want to be in a place where I can do it with more courage and clarity. Time for me to practise some more.

Where have you taken a small risk that feels like it has made a big difference to you, that has driven you forward to want to do more of that thing? or made you feel like you could soar?

I'd love to hear about it.

With Warmth and Wonder

Jaimie

We walk

I've been so busy with one thing or another I'm only just getting round to sharing with you what I wrote on the train on the way home from a walking conference about a month ago. Here it is, from the moment. 

My brain is buzzing with the reality and romance of walking.

One step in front of the other, in our imaginations and in reality.

We walk to find places, create spaces, to travel, to arrive at a previously only dreamt about destination. We walk to remember, we walk to create, we walk to work, we walk to forget.

We walk to process and deconstruct, we walk to grieve, we walk to heal.

We walk everyday, we walk to shop, to gather, to reveal.

We walk to know ourselves, to know a stranger, to know the place once more.

We walk for something lost or for an imagined need.

We walk for peace, we walk it out, we walk slow. 

We walk for well-being, for healthy hearts and minds, 

We walk in doubt and we walk in certainty, with purpose and with despondency.

Our walk betrays our thoughts, our infirmaries and our vulnerabilities. 

We walk to meditate, we walk to meet, we walk to the top and we walk to the bottom.

We walk to wait and we walk to continue.

We walk for friendship and we walk to discover anew.

We walk for enchantment and enlivenment.

We walk to contemplate and ruminate.

We walk for no reason at all than for the certain expression of our bodily movement that ripples through us, moving us forward. 

We walk to delve deeply, we walk to share, we walk beside others in kinship and care.

We walk to follow, to lead, to show the way.

We walk to go first.

We walk away and towards ourselves. 

You can make a difference today...what will it be?

‘You cannot get through a single day without having an impact on the world around you. What you do makes a difference, and you have to decide what kind of difference you want to make’ - Jane Goodall

I always hope that I am making a difference with what I do, and how I show up in the world, I imagine that you might feel the same way. 

Sometimes you can see and feel the difference, sometimes it’s not so obvious. Sometimes it’s directly reflected back to you by way of a gesture of recognition and thanks. Hopefully you are always thanked, but I know it doesn’t always happen.

I’ve been aware of quite a few moments of gratitude for my actions recently, they have lifted me up in moments of doubt and tiredness and I have so deeply appreciated them.

A couple of specific examples have really jumped out recently

I have been curating an exhibition called Re:See It 3 - positive creative responses to Sustainability and Climate Change. This exhibition was first shown as part of ArtCOP Scotland and ArtCOP 21 - in association with the Paris Climate Talks- at St Margaret’s House and then later installed at Gayfield Creative Spaces.

One day while busying myself with sorting out the artwork going from one venue to another I was thanked and acknowledged for the work I put into a successful show. I cried and felt such a sense of relief in that moment that my efforts and care were enough.

Then, on opening night of the 2nd showing at Gayfield I was delighted to be presented with a medal!

YES a MEDAL for ME! :)

Not just any old medal either, a sweet handmade medal entitled ‘Small Change for a Big difference’ made from reclaimed ribbon and a reclaimed coin, in a beautifully considered package.

  It was commissioned from one of the artists taking part in the show- Nicola Murray from Derring- Do medals.

I have been wearing it with pride and every time I see it it will remind me to know that I have made a difference and give me strength to continue on my path in helping lift people up, to learn along the way and to be able to see where I can help and decide where to best use my energy to make an impact.

So I'm curious, do you know what kind of difference you want to make?

Where are you already making a difference in the world, big or small?

How do you know you are making a difference? How does it feel?

Where else would you like to make a difference?

And most importantly I want to say...

THANK YOU for the difference that you make every day.

Join in the conversation in the comments below or over on facebook

With warmth and wonder

See you in 2016

Jaimie x

Decluttering creative corners to find festive abundance PART 2- the gift edition

The other week I set about decluttering my studio and in the process set myself a task to digging around to see what wonders I already had at my finger tips with making Christmas in mind. I always make my own gifts as I like make something that will be useful or beautiful without trailing around the shops or spending a fortune in money and resources. The Christmas consumer mayhem gets me down and makes me feel lacking and I prefer to feel abundant instead. 

If you've read PART 1, you'll have noticed that the box full of stuff that I gathered was overflowing, but in the end I was never going to use it all and I had to be honest with myself that I didn't have time to make what I had in mind for some of the materials. They were put aside for another gift making opportunity. So I settled for a smaller selection of materials to get me started of and to keep it simple.

Here are some of the gifts I made.

Air-drying clay was rolled and stamped with letter stamps to make herb plant markers

DIY Garden Markers tutorial from Wit and Whistle

Merino wool roving was felted onto fair trade soap to make felted soap and also rolled up and threaded onto elastic to make felt ball jewellery.

 Learn how to make Felted Soap and How to make felted balls

Old jars, Letter stamps, ink and scraps of card were transformed into containers for spice mixes.

I excluded the fennel seeds and loose black tea from the recipe and instead included fair trade black teabags. I also bought some small reusable spice bags to contain the spices for each brew.

Check out this recipe for making your own Chai Spice Kit. 

Wood slices, twine and buttons were turned into decorations

I cut these discs from a fallen branch,  drilled a hole in the top of each for the twine and button to thread through. You may need to sand the surface if your cut wasn't smooth.

Using a permanent marker, I decided to write inspiring quotes on each so they can be enjoyed all year round.

Old-t-shirts were made into t-shirt yarn and then turned into coasters and potholders by weaving or plaiting them. 

Weaving a Potholder

Try this tshirt yarn making tutorial and this plaited coaster making tutorial

AND

Perfectly good unread books were taken off my shelves and wrapped up, ready to become part of someone else’s imagination.

These aren't all my Christmas gifts this year, only the ones I already had some of the supplies for, and I did go and buy some new supplies along the way, but overall I think we've only spent just over £100 on Christmas gifts this year! So satisfying and I feel so abundant in being able to give with more than my spending power, but my time and making power instead and the reminder that the essence of a meaningful gift = LOVE

Happy Holidays

With warmth and wonder

Jaimie x